Dodging Cuddy Like a Bullet
by HouseAddict16
Summary: House has no case, so Wilson creates a bet: House has to avoid Cuddy to stay out of the clinic to gain 200, and Wilson will cover for House. My first attempt at a funny fic.
1. Chapter 1 Part 1

**Dodging Cuddy like a Bullet**

**Part 1**

Wilson was walking through the clinic to get back to his office when he found House hiding behind a plant in the lobby.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh. I'm spying on Cuddy."

"Why?"

"Because it's fun. Why else?"

"Where's the team? Where's the case?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"You don't have a case?"

"That's right! Alex, tell him what he's won!"

"What are you going to do today?"

"Cause chaos, then leave early."

After a little thinking, Wilson comes up with something.

"I know what you can do."

"What? I'm listening." He shifted so he was looking directly at Wilson now. Wilson had his full attention.

"I bet that you can't stay out of clinic duty today."

"Oh yeah? You're on."

"Ok, here are the rules. Cuddy can't find you. If she does, then you most defiantly will have to work in the clinic. If she doesn't find you all day then you win. I'll cover for you as long as you don't get caught. If I cover for you and you still get caught I win. I won't know where you are all day, but you can't leave the hospital until 4:00."

"What do I win?"

"How's 200 dollars sound?"

"It sounds like a bet."

They shook on it and then parted ways. House had to go find somewhere to hang out before Cuddy came looking for him. It wouldn't be long before she found out that his whole team was working in the clinic instead of him. As he walked away from his hiding place Cuddy saw him go to the elevator. She was going to go pressure him into working in the clinic, but was busy with a client so it would have to wait until later. She was determined to get him to do some work today before the day was over.


	2. Chapter 2 part 2

**Dodging Cuddy like a Bullet**

**Part 2**

After Cuddy's meeting with the client she discovered in the clinic log that all three of House's ducklings were in the clinic, which meant no case. Now she had to find House, he couldn't get paid for not working today; he got paid for that too often. Her first stop was House's office. When that was searched and came up with no House she then found Wilson. He was in his office doing paperwork, and no House was in sight.

"Where's House?"

"Third floor stairwell. He heard that's where all the action is."

"Do you mean what I think you mean?"

"Probably."

"He has no cases you know."

"Yes I'm aware of that."

"Well if you find him, which I'm sure you will, please let him know that I'm looking for him."

"I'm pretty sure he already knows that, but I'll let him know."

Cuddy left and when he was sure she was gone he laughed. The bet was working. Cuddy was looking for House and even though Wilson had no clue where House actually was it was going to be fun to come up with some witty retorts as to where House was. He decided to talk with House and called his phone. He just hoped that House had it on vibrate so if Cuddy was near him, she wouldn't hear it ring.

"House?"

"Yeah."

"Meet me at the balcony over the clinic in about 5 minutes. Cuddy has a meeting on the third floor and won't see us. I won't get you caught."

"Alright, see you then."

Wilson made his way over to the balcony and waited for House. House wasn't up there often, but he could be for there was elevator access. The last time they were up here together House was throwing grapes at the janitor and pushed the blame on to Wilson. He heard the elevator ding and turned to face House.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Not much, where have you been hiding?"

"It's a secret."

"Right."

"Has Cuddy come looking for me yet?"

"She hasn't asked me about you."

"My dog lies better than you do."

"But you don't have a dog."

"Sure I do. He just lives with my parents, hence you never met him."

"Yeah, she came and asked, I said that you were in the third floor stairwell because you heard that's where all the action is."

"And she fell for that?"

"She just told me to tell you that she's looking for you."

"Well you did, but that's not going to make me find her. Like I want to work today. I'm too handsome to do paperwork, as I've said before."

They sat and observed the people below as they used their time together, Cuddy was going to be busy for about and hour, so House could come out of hiding until then. House always liked people watching and could read people fairly well since he had been observing for years. He saw one woman and decided to comment.

"She's a hoe."

"Fo sho."

"Who are you referring to?"

"Who are you referring to?"

"It doesn't matter."

"You're right."

"I'm always right."

Wilson shook his head and laughed.

"I have to get back to work, patients to see."

"You mean to tell their dying."

"Yes it is part of the job. In other languages Oncologist translates into the man who knows your life is over."

"True."

"You better make sure you don't get caught by Cuddy. Who knows who she's got looking for you."

"Oh 200 dollars says I won't get caught."

They both smirked again and while Wilson took the stairs, House took the elevator to the basement. That way he was as far away from Cuddy as physically possible in the confines of the hospital.


End file.
